The journey of My Work

A few weeks ago I was sitting in the doorway of the gym locker room putting on my shoes and taking my sweet time, accidentally overhearing other women's conversations. I happened to overhear two women, probably around my age, 30's, who seemed to be new to the gym scene. They were talking about how they just didn't think they had what it takes to go to a group instruction class. I looked at the women and thought, Why would you feel that way? You look perfectly normal. Of course, this was easy for me to think since I have been coming to the gym now for a couple years (during the course of my motherhood career) I am basically a profesh at group classes myself right? Now, let's get past my rudeness at eavesdropping on strangers and get to the purpose of this. Since the experience I have been really pondering what makes women so prone to a lack of confidence, generally speaking of course. I thought about myself; where am I at on the confidence meter? Where have I been? H...

Today I'm contemplating forgiveness. Mostly because I need to forgive myself for being human--it was a bit of a stressful day for me today and I did a bit of crying (or yelling) over spilled milk-literally. A whole cup full of it. All over the carpet. By a toddler. Now, generally, a normal person would probably think "oh man, that was my fault because a two year old needs a cup with a lid and has no business walking across the room with an open cup." Granted, I was definitely having this thought as I hollered at my child to go sit down at the table and to not get in the way while I clean up the mess, but it was a complete and utter moment of conflict. My thoughts and my knowledge were at exact and even odds. The whole time I was giving my kid a hard time I was fighting myself internally and yet I couldn't seem to overcome my instinct to throw a grown-up fit. I think most moms get it--it's the perfect metaphysical storm. Since I need to work this out for myself, ...

As I deepened my stretch into downward dog on Tuesday at yoga class, I heard some magical words: "now is the time to go ahead and set your intention". I was stoked! I have had so many intentions lately and since I was back at the gym after a week of strep throat I decided to focus my intention on "strong body". Yeah, this could mean a lot of things, but to me, on day one of my regular near death experience (also known as a very regular period) it meant that I could feel my muscles (and not just the uterine ones) reaching and stretching and lengthening through the poses........ Having a strong body has been a process for me my whole life. As a teenager I didn't realize what I had, which is pretty normal, most teenagers have a pretty warped body image in one way or another. I spent some time playing on the soccer team (where I wasn't all that great, but it was an amazing workout) and my senior year of high school I mustered up the guts to wear a swimsuit eve...

This blog has been inspired by two amazing and influential women in my life (or so I like to think): Jody Moore and Brooke Castillo. I began listening to Jody's podcast over a year ago and her ideas really hit me hard. I found her podcast titled Bold New Mom at a time when I was struggling with the birth of my third (and final) child, adjusting to not working outside the home ("What have I done?? Can I handle this?"), and feeling beat down by the daily grind. I was also trying to manage my own outlook on life through the lens of depression (hello, maternal mental health!), which is no picnic. ( My mental health journey is another post all on its own, but suffice it to say that it is a never ending battle that I have yet to win, and I am not sure that I ever will, but I have accepted that. ) Anyway, after I found Jody's podcast on iTunes it was all I could listen to for months. I was excited for long car rides where I could just turn on my phone and drive down the high...