Our family gets to celebrate birthdays for five months in a row every year, beginning with July and ending in November, just in time for Christmas. I grew up with a lot of birthday celebrating. Being a twin, there were two of us, so most of the time we had big parties with our friends and a separate family party because of our large extended family. It was great! Twice the cake, twice the fun, twice the love!
As a parent, I do birthdays a little differently, and by differently, I mean I have no exact way whatsoever. I watch some of my amazing friends do these fantastic decorations and surprises and I love it! But that's where it sort of ends for me. I'm thrilled for my friends and their kids, that they make the time to do that stuff, don't get me wrong, I love it, but it doesn't work out that way for me. Somehow it seems that there is always something happening in our lives to round out the beginning and end of a birthday week or month and it ends up taking priority over a party. Or everyone is too tired (or sick?) to deal with a party, or as is the case right now, we don't have tons of friends for a party. I'm cool with all of this though. I did the big party thing when my oldest was little and I concluded that my little children aren't going to remember stuff like their 2nd birthday party. They enjoy the little things right now, so I'm going to hold on to that until their needs change and they want more than a family dinner of their choosing, some gifts, and a cake.
We just finished our final family birthday of 2017 (our youngest turned 3!). It was lovely! Since she is so young, and there are four whole birthdays that come before hers, delighted doesn't even begin to describe how thrilled she was that it was her birthday "in real life". She insisted on chili and her Sofia the First cake, and just like her two older siblings, she held hard onto that birthday card for days. I adore how my children love their birthday cards! Cards are such a special part of a gift for me and I always want them to be personalized for the recipient. Hallmark shouldn't get all of the credit. I mean, after all, if you let a generic or flowery card tell your feelings to someone on a special occasion, you're either going to be 'all in' with the relationship or 'meh, flowing with the breeze'. A personal touch is almost always a good thing.
My experience of the last couple of months has been a bit of a whirlwind. Unfortunately, no matter how hard a person hopes and wishes she cannot establish a life in a new place in a matter of months; not even four of them. So, as it has been about four months since we have relocated and gotten settled into our new home, I have to accept that we are still building our 'life'. It's funny though, it seems like forever. We have had four birthdays, a hurricane (or two?), a near burglary, a personal injury (my poor knee and ankle...), and we are now the owners of a puppy and a bunny rabbit. It's kind of crazy. Most of the time it feels like we have lived this life forever. I have to remind myself and my children that our family has been through many adventures, and this won't be the last.
Through all of this I have been trying to focus on living in it, on being present. Am I really sitting with myself and taking in all of the beauty that my life has to offer? Do I recognize what has brought all of this goodness into my sphere of reality? Who are the people that have been part of this for me? Do I take the time to be grateful?
My study recently (aside from dealing with The Crazy) has been focused on my present and my future. Where am I at now? Where do I want to be? What do I expect from myself in the future--tomorrow? Next month? One year from now? Five years from now? How can I make those things happen? What questions do I need to ask myself to bring about these expectations and goals? I have been continually reminded that I have to do the hard work of challenging myself in order to get somewhere great.
Even though I have been focusing on the future and rummaging around in myself to find out what I want my future to be, I feel so blessed to have the guidance of good friends to help me figure things out for the now. There are about two weeks out of the month that I have to endure The Crazy and since I have been away from my regular treatment methods for a few months due to the relocation, it has been much worse. In spite of that, and I think because of my wrestle before God, I am convinced that I have been given a greater clarity of mind to deal with it, at least in the non-crazy parts of the month. It's like being in a cave. When it's day time and the sun is out, the cave is lit up and glowing, but when the sun goes down it's pitch black and nothing is going to change that (you know, aside from a flashlight or a match-which I'd LOVE). The contrast is as clear as day (haha). Right now I can see that! I am able to be present and experience my life and seek out ways to deal.
In fact, I joined a 6 week fitness challenge (advertised on Facebook) that focuses on several areas of life. Since there's a bit of a competition involved, I've upped my game and I'm pretty set on following through with the plan. One part is keeping a gratitude journal. I have done this throughout my life, but not as consistently as I would have liked. I've been doing this part of the challenge for nearly five days now and I really see a difference. One reason I joined this challenge group is to get myself into a routine and to help myself live intentionally. I can definitely say that it's working. Since it's the beginning and I'm still adjusting to all the dietary and personal changes involved in a lifestyle change, I'm not completely relaxed into it. I think in a few days it will be more second nature to me. But I have really challenged myself to be part of it, not just follow it.
Last night I put my middle child to bed and we went through a bit of an imagery meditation as he snuggled up next to me, fighting the sleep he so desperately needed. I walked his little four year old mind through the afternoon fun on a hammock, and the animals and critters, and sunlight and then the night, and on and on...until finally he was relaxed and sleeping so peacefully that I didn't really want to get up. I'm not sure how much of his quick melting into a relaxing sleep was from my meditation or the fact that he hadn't had a nap all day, but either way, it was nice to be there as my baby drifted off to sleep. A little while later as I put my littlest baby to bed with hugs and kisses, 'I love you's and blankies, she wrapped me in her little arms and said to me "I love you so much, Mom." What other reason do you need to tuck your children into bed at night? (But really, this doesn't happen every night, so don't get the wrong idea.)
Isn't it interesting that this month of November, when I get to celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving, I have the opportunity to really stop and see the little things that I have to be thankful for? I am excited to bring about positive change in my life... again...even if it seems like it's for the millionth time. But, if we aren't changing and evolving then we aren't improving! So, onward and upward my friends. Have a grateful and present November.
As a parent, I do birthdays a little differently, and by differently, I mean I have no exact way whatsoever. I watch some of my amazing friends do these fantastic decorations and surprises and I love it! But that's where it sort of ends for me. I'm thrilled for my friends and their kids, that they make the time to do that stuff, don't get me wrong, I love it, but it doesn't work out that way for me. Somehow it seems that there is always something happening in our lives to round out the beginning and end of a birthday week or month and it ends up taking priority over a party. Or everyone is too tired (or sick?) to deal with a party, or as is the case right now, we don't have tons of friends for a party. I'm cool with all of this though. I did the big party thing when my oldest was little and I concluded that my little children aren't going to remember stuff like their 2nd birthday party. They enjoy the little things right now, so I'm going to hold on to that until their needs change and they want more than a family dinner of their choosing, some gifts, and a cake.
We just finished our final family birthday of 2017 (our youngest turned 3!). It was lovely! Since she is so young, and there are four whole birthdays that come before hers, delighted doesn't even begin to describe how thrilled she was that it was her birthday "in real life". She insisted on chili and her Sofia the First cake, and just like her two older siblings, she held hard onto that birthday card for days. I adore how my children love their birthday cards! Cards are such a special part of a gift for me and I always want them to be personalized for the recipient. Hallmark shouldn't get all of the credit. I mean, after all, if you let a generic or flowery card tell your feelings to someone on a special occasion, you're either going to be 'all in' with the relationship or 'meh, flowing with the breeze'. A personal touch is almost always a good thing.
My experience of the last couple of months has been a bit of a whirlwind. Unfortunately, no matter how hard a person hopes and wishes she cannot establish a life in a new place in a matter of months; not even four of them. So, as it has been about four months since we have relocated and gotten settled into our new home, I have to accept that we are still building our 'life'. It's funny though, it seems like forever. We have had four birthdays, a hurricane (or two?), a near burglary, a personal injury (my poor knee and ankle...), and we are now the owners of a puppy and a bunny rabbit. It's kind of crazy. Most of the time it feels like we have lived this life forever. I have to remind myself and my children that our family has been through many adventures, and this won't be the last.
Through all of this I have been trying to focus on living in it, on being present. Am I really sitting with myself and taking in all of the beauty that my life has to offer? Do I recognize what has brought all of this goodness into my sphere of reality? Who are the people that have been part of this for me? Do I take the time to be grateful?
My study recently (aside from dealing with The Crazy) has been focused on my present and my future. Where am I at now? Where do I want to be? What do I expect from myself in the future--tomorrow? Next month? One year from now? Five years from now? How can I make those things happen? What questions do I need to ask myself to bring about these expectations and goals? I have been continually reminded that I have to do the hard work of challenging myself in order to get somewhere great.
Even though I have been focusing on the future and rummaging around in myself to find out what I want my future to be, I feel so blessed to have the guidance of good friends to help me figure things out for the now. There are about two weeks out of the month that I have to endure The Crazy and since I have been away from my regular treatment methods for a few months due to the relocation, it has been much worse. In spite of that, and I think because of my wrestle before God, I am convinced that I have been given a greater clarity of mind to deal with it, at least in the non-crazy parts of the month. It's like being in a cave. When it's day time and the sun is out, the cave is lit up and glowing, but when the sun goes down it's pitch black and nothing is going to change that (you know, aside from a flashlight or a match-which I'd LOVE). The contrast is as clear as day (haha). Right now I can see that! I am able to be present and experience my life and seek out ways to deal.
In fact, I joined a 6 week fitness challenge (advertised on Facebook) that focuses on several areas of life. Since there's a bit of a competition involved, I've upped my game and I'm pretty set on following through with the plan. One part is keeping a gratitude journal. I have done this throughout my life, but not as consistently as I would have liked. I've been doing this part of the challenge for nearly five days now and I really see a difference. One reason I joined this challenge group is to get myself into a routine and to help myself live intentionally. I can definitely say that it's working. Since it's the beginning and I'm still adjusting to all the dietary and personal changes involved in a lifestyle change, I'm not completely relaxed into it. I think in a few days it will be more second nature to me. But I have really challenged myself to be part of it, not just follow it.
Last night I put my middle child to bed and we went through a bit of an imagery meditation as he snuggled up next to me, fighting the sleep he so desperately needed. I walked his little four year old mind through the afternoon fun on a hammock, and the animals and critters, and sunlight and then the night, and on and on...until finally he was relaxed and sleeping so peacefully that I didn't really want to get up. I'm not sure how much of his quick melting into a relaxing sleep was from my meditation or the fact that he hadn't had a nap all day, but either way, it was nice to be there as my baby drifted off to sleep. A little while later as I put my littlest baby to bed with hugs and kisses, 'I love you's and blankies, she wrapped me in her little arms and said to me "I love you so much, Mom." What other reason do you need to tuck your children into bed at night? (But really, this doesn't happen every night, so don't get the wrong idea.)
Isn't it interesting that this month of November, when I get to celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving, I have the opportunity to really stop and see the little things that I have to be thankful for? I am excited to bring about positive change in my life... again...even if it seems like it's for the millionth time. But, if we aren't changing and evolving then we aren't improving! So, onward and upward my friends. Have a grateful and present November.
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